you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
