that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize