I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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