She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
