I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
