FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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