Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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