Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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