I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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