Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
