she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
