i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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