I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
