Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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