He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
