I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Randomize
