Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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