part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
