Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The air taste purple.
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