His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
