No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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