Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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