Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Randomize
