He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
