Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize