Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
