Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

nut hugger

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.

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(419): View more from Ohio

On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire

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(501): View more from Arkansas

So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.

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(876): View more from Jamaica

dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody

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(929): View more from

are you comparing glasses to pregnancy

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