Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
