i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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