i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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