another moral hangover. fuck.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
