I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
