what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
