but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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