theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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