I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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