but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
handjob tips. give me some.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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