I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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