when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
