woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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