come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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