Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
