Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
