he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
