he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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