Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize