I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
