im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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