I think I am morally bankrupt
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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