wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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