Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I wish I only lived at night.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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