wrigley field is MILF paradise
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize