you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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