Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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