Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I don't think brook has ever known best
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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