Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
