I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
